By Rev. Tan Eng Boo
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:
and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24 KJV)
The first part of this verse says, “that we must show our friendliness towards our friends.” The Bible says that we must do so. It is not whether we like doing so or not. This is from God’s word, and it poses a challenging task to us. How can we do so? Do we simply say “hello, good morning” to our friends each time we meet in church? It is very simple to say a “hello,” but it takes lots of effort to show our friendliness. But if we do so, that action will have an impact on the life of the person.
The apostle Paul says,
“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:10).
There are many opportunities for us to show our friendliness to each other. I can think of one way in which we can show forth this friendliness – KINDNESS! This is doing good. Paul says,
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
In fact, “kindness” is the manifestation of a truly born-again Christian. It is a part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in the Christian life.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law” (Galatians 5:22, 23).
We should look out for opportunities to do good in being kind to everyone, especially to our friends in church. I hope we are all friends and not enemies in church.
Let me share with you the story of a young man, who never realized the impact he would have on someone else’s life through a random act of kindness.
Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, that he was having a lot of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend.
They arrived at Bill's home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, and then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contact over the years. Finally, the long-awaited senior year came, and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.
Bill reminded him of that day years ago when they had first met. "Do you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" asked Bill. "You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up my books that day, you did a lot more. You saved my life."
A little act of kindness can produce large results. Kindness is the outflow of God’s Love and Grace. Kindness is the out-stretched arms of the Church of the Living God.
Remember the Good Samaritan, who through kindness, delivered the man who had fallen among thieves and was left for dead. (Luke 10:25-37)
What about the kindness of Boaz. Boaz delivered Ruth through the power of kindness, leaving the handfuls of gleaning in her path that eventually led to the lineage of Christ. (Ruth 2)
David delivered Mephibosheth through kindness when he asked,
"Is there any of the house of Saul that I may show kindness to..." (2 Samuel 9:1).
We can show kindness towards one another, too. Do it as the Bible teaches us:
1. By being careful in our speech:
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:6). “A gentle tongue is a tree of life….” (Proverbs 15:4).
To what extent are you encouraging people with kind words? Do not withhold that which is so powerful, so effective, and so biblical.
“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up” (Proverbs 12:25 NIV).
2. Look out for opportunities to do good through kindness:
a. Pray for the person. But what to pray for that person? This is your opportunity to ask them.
b. In a more practical way, how can you help the person? Don’t wait for the church to do something. You can do something. It may be a good idea to team up with someone to do so. Remember, kindness is compassion in action.
3. This world is filled with unkind people. We don’t want to be added to the list. It is always disappointing to see people in church who are harsh, quarrelsome, impatient and nasty etc. We are different, aren’t we? We should be so! Christ requires of His church what is more than human: Be kind to one another. If you are the servant of the Lord, you must be kind to everyone.
“And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone….” (2 Timothy 2:24).
It must begin with the church leadership, and others will see it.
Work at being kind.
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly….” (Proverbs 18:24 KJV)
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